." Maybe not, but it still doesn't change the way I felt about myself. Then I saw how Marianne stood up to them, even when Rolf raped her... how brave she was to give herself up to rescue me." She was a courageous woman Kim, one of the strongest women I've ever known." And loving." Yes, she was everything I've ever wanted. I told you what we had planned for after we got you back." She was the strong one." Yes, I needed her strength." And you both enjoyed her being stronger than you." Yes, I gave myself to her. She loved being strong for me." You miss her don't you?" Very much, but I have you back with me now and..." And I have you," answered Kim in a way that brought Lisa up short."Honey, I..." I know... everything." I don't know what you mean," replied Lisa, puzzled."I know it was Rolf who raped you fifteen years ago. And I know he was my father." NO! I mean yes, okay, he raped me but..."Lisa had never wanted Kim to know that Rolf was the same biker who had raped her years earlier. Her heart raced."I had a wonderful time with you this week," Alan said in her ear."I did, too." Marissa was trying to figure out how to say what she needed to. The palms of her hands started to sweat. "Listen ... Alan ... We need to—" Shhhhh..." he stopped her. His voice was gentle and the look in his eyes hypnotic. "Not now. I know we need to talk ... but..."Marissa wanted to cry out or slap him or something. She was falling for him.A part of her wanted to know if he was worth it. If his unspoken promises would be delivered. If he felt the same way. She needed to hear the words.Yet, the other part of her knew that he would catch her. He had treated her too well and his actions spoke louder than any words that could come out of his mouth.Marissa's life was about certainty. She desired clarity. Order. Alan brought confusion to her life. Disorder.Feelings and emotions bubbled up from the depths of her soul. It was exciting and scary at the same time.For the first time, Marissa was.
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